CRAZY SOCK LADY

I’m mad at my Vue. During the winter, the automatic windows have the tendency to freeze and get stuck. This happens when I need my windows to roll down when I’m in line at the drive-through. Who wants to get out of the car and splish splash through the slush? Not me. Hello, drive-through.

I went to work looking pretty nice. I wore a skirt with black tights and a nice blouse. Because I’m too lazy to change out of my work clothes, I just slipped on my Easter socks to keep my feet warm. Later in the evening, Charlie and I realized that we needed to pick up some medication from Walgreens. I thought, “No problem,” as I slipped on my black shoes (see photo) and headed out the door. Once we got to Walgreens and headed for the pharmacy drive-through, I realized that the driver-side window has a good chance of being stuck due to the extreme cold.

Hello, crazy sock lady. I looked cute at work, wearing a cute skirt with black tights and nice blouse. But once I put on the Easter socks, I became Crazy Sock Lady known to Walgreens staff and customers.

And sure enough, the window was stuck as I tried with all my might to roll down the window with the automatic button. The stupid window would not budge. No biggie. Just jump out of the car and pick up the medications inside. Um, one problem. I’m still wearing the socks. Charlie suggested I take off the socks but for some reason, pulling off socks in my Vue seemed way too hard. After trying for another 30 seconds to budge the window, I resigned myself to getting out of the car and heading inside Walgreens, praying the 24-hour store was empty or close to.

Nope. Not a chance. As soon as I walk in the door, a woman looks up from her cosmetic selections to watch me walk through the door. She looks me in the eye before glancing down at my feet. I shuffle to the back of the store (where the pharmacy is) quickly, avoiding other customers. I try to walk down aisles where there no customers, but I had little success. And then to my horror, I had to WAIT in the pharmacy line as two other customers were discussing their meds.

Awesome. People walked passed the pharmacy and probably glanced down at my socks. I’m not sure about the last part because I picked up and read the latest People magazine while waiting for my turn. Finally! My turn. I get the meds, pay, and start running for the front door. Only on my out, I run into gobs of people. Everywhere I turn, there’s a family of five … there’s some high school kids … there’s a couple … aaagh! I should’ve taken off my socks in the Vue.

As soon as I hopped into the Vue, Charlie pushed a button and the driver-side window rolled down. I gave him the stink eye. He told me that he got it to work just as soon as I disappeared into the store. He would have called me but he left his phone at home. It didn’t matter anyway because I had left my phone at home, too. I guess that teaches us to leave our phones at home. Or teaches me that I’m too lazy.

DO NOT USE IN CASE OF EMERGENCY

I recently told Charlie not to count on me in case of an emergency. When something bad happens, my brain just shuts down for some reason. I can’t explain it. Charlie hopes I’m able to call 911 if he’s dying of a heart attack or something.

Emergency situation #1: When my sister, Becky, went into early labor with her first son, Cole, I freaked out. Pat, her husband, called my phone and my parents’ phone in the middle of the night. I was the first to wake and answer his call to hear the news. Here’s my answer, “Um, Pat, I don’t know what to do.” His response, “Is one of your parents there?” I can’t remember the reason, but I was staying overnight in Rochester with my parents.

In hindsight, I should have said, “Pat, is there anything you want me to do?” “Pat, is Becky OK?” “Tell me what you need me to do.” All of those thoughts and plenty of other good statements escaped my mind that night.

Emergency situation #2: Becky and I were walking along the parade route during our hometown festival. Becky and I were talking to some old classmates when a big fat truck slowly rolled by and a young girl skated by on rollerblades. I looked at the truck and the girl and thought, “Wow, that’s a recipe for disaster.” As soon as thoughts passed through my mind, can you guess what happened? The girl on the rollerblades fell right by one of the truck’s tires.

In my mind, I was yelling, “Stoooooooooop!” But in real life, I covered my mouth with both of hands, gasped, and looked at the situation with horror. Fortunately, plenty of people in the parade crowd yelled, “Hey, stop!” And the truck driver stopped before any harm was done. Yup, I’m a person you can count in emergencies.

Emergency situation #3: OK, so all these three situations aren’t really “emergencies,” but they are situations where common sense would be helpful. After the first recent snowfall this winter, there was a huge snowbank sitting in front of our trash cans in the alley. On my way to work one morning, I backed out of my space and drove right into the snowbank. And I got stuck.

I tried to back out but the wheels kept spinning and I wasn’t getting anywhere. When I finally had the bright idea to try twisting the steering wheel while backing out, I had ran back to the house and yelled at Charlie that I was stuck in a snowbank (he was still in bed, by the way). Just as I was backing out of the snowbank, Charlie was there to witness it with a smirk on his face. A smirk that said, “I can’t believe you ran into the snowbank.”

And by the way, if you ever talk to my dad or my sister, Becky, I’m sure they will tell you another lovely story about how I ran into a snow drift. But that’s another story. 

RILEY: FAT OR FLUFFY?

Charlie and I are having a minor disagreement. He thinks Riley is fat. I say Riley is big boned and just fluffy. The last time Riley went to the vet, I think he weighed in at about 14 to 16 pounds and the vet said Riley could stand to lose a few pounds but he wasn’t exactly overweight. So, what do you think? Is Riley fat or fluffy?

This picture of Riley was taken in 2007 ... I tried to find a more recent photo of him, where I have his entire body in the shot and not just his cute face.

CAUGHT

I was thinking about posting a blog titled, “Shhhh, don’t tell Charlie,” but for some reason, I never got around to writing it. Charlie knows that I’m a big animal lover … every time I see someone walking their dog, I say, “Awwwwww, I want a dog.” But I don’t mean it. I love dogs. I love my sisters’ dogs, but I don’t think I want a dog. Calvin acts like a dog anyway because he’s one needy little cat. Besides, having two cats is enough for me and way enough for Charlie.

Ever since moving into our new place, I’ve seen rabbits hopping around and I’ve become sort of worried/attached this winter because I see their cute little footprints in the snow. When I went to work one day after it snowed during the night, no one else had stepped in the freshly minted snow except for these little rabbits. How do rabbits survive during the winter? Where do they go? What do they eat?

I’m not sure how many rabbits hop around the place, but I’ve named one of them Sally and assume whenever I see a rabbit that it’s the same rabbit. I saw Sally hanging around the house one night after work when Charlie wasn’t home. Knowing I couldn’t get into trouble because Charlie wasn’t around to question me grabbing the heal bread, I fed Sally pieces of the bread. She seemed very appreciative of my thoughts as I tossed her the bread bits.

Without telling Charlie, I’ve been tossing bits and pieces of food near a tree in the backyard. Usually I do this before going to work and then I don’t see the food when I get home. Plus, I don’t do this everyday. However, the other day I wasn’t feeling well at work and came home early. In my lunch sack, I had a handful of carrots and tossed them near the tree for Sally. Then I crashed for the rest of the afternoon on the couch with my cats.

Charlie came home and told me that he saw Sally (I told him that I named the rabbit Sally) near the tree. He thought, “I should grab a carrot for her.” But then upon closer inspection, Charlie saw Sally munching a pile of carrots and immediately knew where the carrots came from. Even when he moved a bit closer to Sally, she didn’t even budge — she wasn’t going to leave her carrots.

Charlie’s not mad at me but he made me promise NOT to try to pet Sally or get her to feed my hand. Apparently, rabbits can have rabies and rabies kill people. Is this true? I should look that up on Wikipedia. But a promise is a promise, and I don’t want to kill my husband because I love him very much. And because he knows how much I love animals and when I want to play Cafe World. 

I HEART MAC & CHEESE

I always didn’t like macaroni and cheese. I just remember not being a huge fan when I was younger. I think Krissy and Becky liked it when they were younger. And I’m not sure why I wasn’t a big fan because I love pasta and I love cheese. Throw those two ingredients together, and I should love macaroni and cheese. My tastebuds for the dish developed later in life, and I started to appreciate the mac and cheese in a box.

Then I watched Tyler Somebody (I forget his last name) on Food Network, and he made this homemade mac and cheese dish, topped with bacon. Mmmmmmm. And then I watched an episode of “Throwdown with Bobby Flay,” and mac and cheese was the dish of the day. And this woman, Della Somebody (I don’t even know her last name, and I’m not even sure her first name is right), apparently makes this incredibly mac and cheese dish … and wow! Her mac and cheese dish looked amazing with seven different kinds of cheese. What I wouldn’t give to try that dish.

Recently, thanks to me being a fan of cheese on Facebook, I came across this Web site: http://www.30days30waysmacandcheese.com. I fell in love with the first recipe found on the Day 1 post. I really really really really want to try that recipe when I have the chance. One, the recipe is simple. Not too many ingredients for me. Two, the picture makes the dish looking delicious. Three, what’s not to love about noodles and three kinds of cheese?

I’ve looked through the rest of the recipes, and some of the dishes look amazing but I’m not fond of a recipe that has a bazillion ingredients. So, if you have a good homemade mac and cheese recipes with not a lot of ingredients, send it my way. And if I end up trying out the mac and cheese recipe, I will be sure to post the results.

DEAR RILEY

Riley: These dishes are clean? I should help Jenn unload these dishes or I should lick all of them and make her run them through the dishwasher. Oh, the choices in life!

Dear Riley:

Please stop trying to smother me in my sleep. I understand that you probably love Calvin more than me, and I’m OK with that. I honestly am. But I don’t appreciate waking up in the middle in the night with your big fat body and a ton of fur pressed against my face. Please stop trying to suffocate me.

Because Calvin likes to sleep between the small space between me and Charlie in our bed, I know there is hardly any room for you. And I know you love to cuddle with Calvin. But I’m pretty sure that Calvin doesn’t appreciate you stepping on top of him and half laying on him.

And, Riley, could you please stop crying in the middle of the night when you want to play and everyone else is sound asleep. I love you dearly, but between the smothering and the crying, I’m not getting a lot of sleep. When I don’t get sleep, I’m not a happy person.

I love you very much … just please stop trying to kill me.

Love, Jenn

HELLO SATURDAY

For the past four months, I’ve had to work Saturday mornings (from 7 a.m. to 3 p.m.). I’m not a morning person as most of my family can attest. I’ve even confessed that I’m not even human before 10 a.m. But somehow at 6:14 a.m. on most Saturdays, I manage to roll my butt out of bed and combat the cold, cold winter air and head to work. And I try not to hate my husband who is sound asleep tucked between a warm and soft mattress and a nice warm comforter.

Lately, the sun doesn’t even rise as I head to work. That’s kind of sad. Sometimes, working on a Saturday isn’t so bad. Sometimes, it’s terrible. But for the most part, I don’t mind working. I just hate rolling my tushy out of bed on a weekend. But tomorrow, I get to sleep in. The minute I saw an email from a co-worker asking if anyone wanted to trade their normal Tuesday off in exchange for a Saturday off … well, I jumped at the chance. And I get to sleep in. Ah, the joys of life.

LEAVE TIGER ALONE

I’ve been thinking about blogging about this topic for awhile but I’ve always backed away because the subject of Tiger Woods and the drama surrounding him is so tabloidish. But after watching a very LAME clip from “Entertainment Tonight” (thank you “The Soup” for also pointing out the lameness), I was pushed over the edge and so here I am blogging.

The Tiger segment from “Entertainment Tonight” focused on whether or not a guy in a blurry pic is Tiger Woods, who is supposedly staying in some rehab facility. In the blurry pic, Mary Hart (the host of the celebrity gossip show) pointed out the facial hair, which Tiger had time grow between leaving where he lives to be in rehab, to the apparel has been seen wearing before, such as a watch, white sneakers, and a dark hoodie. So, is the guy in the picture Tiger Woods? And is he in rehab?

WHO CARES? I don’t care. Yes, the breaking story about him and his wife, Elin, caught everyone’s attention. But I honestly don’t care about the guy in the blurry picture and if he’s Tiger Woods. I don’t care about all the factors that point to him being Tiger. Does anyone really care? Is “Entertainment Tonight” that desperate for news that they sunk to that level? Oh, the blurry guy is wearing a white T-shirt, and guess what!?! Tiger Woods has been seen wearing a T-shirt before! So, that must be him!

Leave the poor guy alone. Yes, he makes millions of dollars. Yes, he’s been in every commercial imaginable. Yes, he’s a good golfer. But leave the poor guy alone. Yes, he’s considered a celebrity, and celebrities lose a good hunk of privacy when they become more well known. But what he and his wife are going through is a personal and private matter. Yes, he backed in a fire hydrant or tree with his car, and yes, she charged at his car with a golf club. But the next steps and decisions in their lives is private and personal.

It would be one thing if they told their stories to every gossip outlet imaginable … It would be one thing if it became a “she said he said” story, but as far as I know, Tiger and Elin have kept low profiles and haven’t told “their side of the story” to anyone. I don’t think either one of them is looking for attention or is blaming the other for the issues (well, not yet anyway). But even as their story unfolds, is it really any of our business? I think not. I just think the guy needs to be left alone.

BEATING BOWSER

Nope, Charlie and I have yet to complete Super Mario Bros. We’re in Bowser’s dumb castle, and we passed two of the levels … but we can’t seem to pass one level where a big fatty fire-breathing Bowser is chasing. Get hit by his fire-power breath, you die. Miss a platform below, you die in the lava. Running too slow, Bowser will kill you. Aaaagh! Charlie and I can’t seem to pass this ONE level … plus, we haven’t played the game in a few days. We are SO close to the end, I can FEEL it but we’re not there yet.

HELLO KITTY

Am I the only one who hasn’t seen this super cute video? Thank you to Tosh.0 for introducing me to the this adorable clip that made me smile.